Director - Winstone Z. Brown
Year - (2004)


For me, there arent any really bad movies. With the exception of the 2nd Crow movie, Ill give any flick a chance. Which is why Im reviewing Vampiyaz. Now, right off the bat, (pun intended) you should know that this is a direct to video, independent, no budget horror flick thats set in an urban environment. Think Boyz in the Hood with vamps. The z and the end of the title is what made me want to rent it, cause hey, Im a glutton for punishment.

To the story: Khalil (Malik Burke) and Jakeem (Richard Carroll Jr.) are two of your average thugs. Jakeem is skilled at cracking safes, while Khalil is good at nothing. The two conspire to steal some dough from a rich white guy while he sleeps. It should be pointed out that when they find him sleeping, hes wearing a pink rabbits costume. The rabbit-man wakes mid-robbery, and Khalil breaks the no gun rule and shoots him. They escape; arguing and cussing all the way back to their hideout. Jakeem loses track of the road and accidentally hits a young woman. Jakeem wants to get her to the hospital, while Khalil, not wanting to be arrested, simply shoots Jakeem and escapes with the cash. Back in the city, Khalil wanders the street, happy with the situation, and tries to car jack an open car. And, (wait for it), hes attacked by a female vampire. Meanwhile, Jakeem, in some pretty bad plot-holery winds up in jail for seven years. Though I really understand until he said I was in jail for seven years. Up until that point, I only saw a barred door, no inmates and Jakeem throwing up. Once Jakeem gets out, he begins to stalk the poor girl he hit, whos now in a wheel chair, in hopes of finding some way to confess for what he did. Hes distracted when a man named Ray shows up, offering Jakeem the chance to get revenge on Khalil. Jakeem jumps at the chance, only to find out that Khalil is now a head vampire in the neighborhood, and Ray is his human servant, A ghetto fabulous Renfield, as Khalil put it. It seems Khalil is tired of being a vampire, and he needs Jakeem to crack a safe, and steal an amulet, which will restore his humanity.

Now if Ive given too much plot away, thats a good thing, because there really isnt anything worth checking out. Turns out that in stealing the amulet, Jakeem pisses off some pretty lame vampire hunters, and finds out that the amulet will really make Khalil an invincible vampire. The effects and blood are bad, really bad. The dialogue is horrible. If you want to play a drinking game, take a shot every time you hear the n-word in this movie. Guaranteed youll be smashed within 5 minutes. The only exception is a funny scene when Jakeem goes temporarily deaf (Give me the amulet first! You want me to handle it and put him in a hearse!). Perhaps if this movie had a bigger budget, and some decent actors the premise wouldve made a good vampire movie. However, trying to urbanize the myths of Vampires only hurt the flick, and in the end, it made put the subtitles on and hit the fast forward button. Then I only had to sit for 20 minutes.

Reviewed By - Evil Ash



Rating ( 1 of 5 )

 
 

 

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